4 Ways to Get Your Partner on Board with Organizing

Often times I have clients shyly admit to me while we are working together that a reason they had waited so long to organize their home together was because their spouse or partner was unsure about the idea of decluttering or working with a professional organizer to do so.

To that I say, I get it! Many couples have trouble when it comes to communicating their wants and needs when it comes to simplifying and organizing the home.

“Why do we need less?”

“Why do we need outside help?”

“Why does this bother you?”

“This isn’t clutter, this is our stuff!”

The good news is, once my clients and I work together to declutter and create a home that works FOR their family rather than AGAINST the way the operate, everyone is on board and continue to hire me to help with other disorganized places in their home.

What inspired this post was Jordan’s epiphany (he said this, not me!) to do a serious closet purge. Not only serious in the fact that there was a lot to be discarded and donated, but serious in a way that he needed to get serious with himself. Serious about what must go, what doesn’t look or feel good anymore, and what change he is looking for within his wardrobe.

Decluttering your wardrobe can be a different process for everyone. For some it’s simple, it’s just clothing! For others, it is a more emotionally draining, time consuming process. The good news is, I know how to cater my approach to both.

With Jordan, I was proud he “got serious” with himself on what needed to go. I even tried to convince him to keep an Atlanta Braves t-shirt that I thought he didn’t want to donate, but he said he was ready to let go of it. Jordan purged so much - all based on what didn’t serve him anymore.

The “to go” pile!

He started this process on his own, but then called me in to help. Not only because I am his girlfriend and he looks to me for style advice, but because in doing something that is hard and takes time, it is good to have a second set of hands and eyes to work through the process and “coach” you toward making the decision that you ultimately know you needs to be made.

All of this to say, getting your partner or spouse on board when it comes to decluttering and organizing can be easy (here, it happened with Jordan’s “epiphany”) or more of a conversation. Here are some tips for getting your partner or spouse on board with decluttering and organizing:

Help them understand your “why”

Disorganization and clutter doesn’t bother everyone. If it doesn’t bother your partner or spouse, help them to understand how the clutter is affecting how you feel in your home, in your mind, and in your day to day life. Explain the situations you find yourself in due to the disorganization and what your goal (both in a physical and mental sense) for an organizing project.

Take it slow and start with you

Sometimes people are hesitant to take on an organizing project because they think it is going to cost a lot or be this total upheaval of your home and life. It isn’t! Choose one space to start decluttering and organizing. Take it a step further and make it a space that is “yours” or affects you the most. Do your closet or office for example. Let them see how the project is positively affecting you and let the enjoyment spread into a project that helps you both.

Be trustworthy

Don’t declutter your spouses space for them without their permission. Don’t wait until they aren’t home to start organizing or discarding their possessions unless they ask you to. In doing so, you are setting yourself up to not be trusted in the decluttering process.

Bring in a second set of eyes and hands

Who wants to be contentious in front of others? Most couples don’t! Hire a professional organizer to help you start a project you both have miscommunicated on for so long, finish a project that no one knew how to complete, or help thoughtfully sort through and make educated decisions what stays and what goes. Working together with someone who isn’t your other half will help make it a less stressful process without a doubt.

If you and your spouse or partner are at odds when it comes to decluttering and organizing, I hope these tips help you start (and finish!) your next organizing project!